Wow! Posting on a blog that real people will actually read and real people who actually might have seen me buy those chocolate chip cookies at the grocery store. And if you did--next time tackle me and remove the cookies and slowly walk away. Be warned--I am a chatter so my post might be long but I will work on that.
I love the idea of healthy living because lets face it--I have been dieting longer than I think I knew how to spell the word. I am a girl, I live in America and like most I have and have had self esteem issues for most of my life. I have had great moments of healthy living and a slim body (after all I did snag a cute husband) but I know and have known for a very long time that food has been a comfort when people were not there. That is my challenge is to break that connection. Also, like most in our society and state of "bigger is better", I don't always eat poorly, I just eat to much. Finally, I like soda, I love the bubbles, the coldness, the pretend "awake" feeling I get from the sugar and all the artificial crap. There, you have my weakness and my mental reasons now on to the health reasons. I had Gestational Diabetes with both my pregnancies and controlled both with diet and exercise. After my second child I had a crazy bout with Post Partum Thyroiditis and during this wondering testing my endocrinologist made me drink that sugary crap for another glucose tolerance test and I failed. The good news---my 3 month sugars are normal so what does that mean for me--I am in a pre-diabetic phase and it means if I were continue down my current path of health and fitness that I would be blessed with Type 2 Diabetes. Or what I like to call it ---"the fast ass lazy version" of diabetes or as some refer to "lifestyle diabetes". Call it what you want--I got here by genetics (thank you daddy who is a prime exactly of the fat ass lazy version of any health related issues and he is alive thanks pills and zero work on his end)--no bitterness there. BUT also, I got here due to my health decisions. With this fact firmly slapped in my face and boldly written on my medical charts I have decided that I need to make a change. Not for me but for my two little girls who will look to me to show them the way in the world and I don't want them to face this struggle. I don't want them to take 3 invitations to join a blog on healthy living for fear that I would really post and someone might really ask me how it is going.
So, I guess the next step is to plan to take some steps. I have medication that will help aid my body with the distribution and breakdown of sugar. I need to take it and my doctor said it will actually help me lose weight since my body currently does a crappy job of handling sugar and instead of giving it to me for energy --it just saves it for later (most notable around my mid section which is great for my heart). So, first I need to get over the idea that I am my father and take this medication. I have no idea why but he took it many years ago when he was still fearful for his health and some how I feel that by taking it--I will become him. Also, my doctor just wants me to be on it for a year then see how if my body has corrected itself. Second, I fear that I will not succeed. What if I am just fat forever. Third--I have to find a new way to find comfort. Like my daughter who cried and cried when we took her paci away, I am crying about needed to restrict my diet. Note that I said restrict---cutting out the bad will only make you want it more and I need to restrict my quantities and get rid of soda all together. I don't want my daughters drinking it and the other day my 3 year old asked if she could have my coke. Ummm, no it does not exist for you.
So the short goal list:
1. take medication
2. Actually use the newly purchased YMCA membership and get my free fit assessment.
3. try to work out once a week (baby steps right?)
4. Try to blog about once a week for y'all to hold me accountable.
5. work on portions and no soda.
thank you and thank you to Karen for inviting me (hopefully you will not regret it). Good luck mamas!
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WELCOME Deb!! I am so excited to see you finally post here ;o) and I know I won't regret inviting you!
ReplyDeleteWow, you have got some things to tackle, but you sound brave and determined, and have some firm goals/plans. You sound like me-- are scared of the accountability here but need it to move you to action. So I am going to be checking to make sure you post once a week, lady!
Have you taken any of the steps you wrote out yet? Did you take the medication?? Use the YMCA membership??