Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Day 2: Today was fucking hard

Fuck. So far this is turning out to be much harder than last time. I just want to surround myself with comfort food. Easy, tasty food that I didn't have to make. Trays of cinnamon rolls, boxes of donuts, bags of candy, fridge packs of soda.

I think when you struggle with the responsibilities of adulthood-- working outside of the home when you don't want to, spouse with a stressful job, bills and debt piling up-- giving in to junk food cravings is the easiest and most immediately rewarding way to say "Screw up, I'm throwing up my hands, no more being responsible right now. I'm getting what I want, right now."

That may be a psychological binging breakthrough, but I'm too tired to analyze it right now. Too bad I don't have the time, money, and energy for therapy.

3 comments:

  1. hey...i'm a therapist in training...I can't promise not to screw you up ...since i don't have the letters after my name yet...but you can always bounce stuff off of me if you want. you have my email addy...lemme know

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  2. The more of the "comfort" food I eat that is unhealthy, the more stress I feel because my body can't handle it. I started keeping a bag of seeds, nuts and organic dark chocolate chips handy. When I want to binge eat, I go for that bag. The nuts help keep the happy chemicals running high. The junk food brings us lower in the long run. It is so damn tasty, though.

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  3. I know... same with energy. The crappier you eat because you're too tired to think of something healthy and go to the trouble of making it, the less energy you have. I try to find healthy things that are easy to make, but damn, junk is always easier. I wish seeds, nuts, and dark chocolate could satisfy my binge cravings but I just don't care for them much. Totally jealous of your taste buds.

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