I'm Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack

everyone thinking of The Shining now?

creepy kid riding down the long hallway on a big wheel?

Okay...I blog more of my insides about my compulsive overeating disorder here but I will share that these past few days have sucked

I even sleepate

yeah

I got up, walked to the kitchen, ate 4 handfulls of flamin cheetos and a little debbie's cosmic brownie then went back to bed

I thought I dreamt it

but see I'm Gluten Intolerant...so it wasn't long before the porcelain gods told me otherwise...

My boobs are heavy, hot and sore

and I'm eating

everything in sight

no sign of stopping

no sign of even FEELING full

the backs of my elbows have taken on the look of a young pudgy girls knees

the cellulite has drifted even further south (really? calves with cottage cheese good GAWD)

I've been mindful of screwing up

Now...

I'm still proud of the things that have happened for me internally over the past 3 months or so (back when I started seeing a counselor)

and I know my food episodes revolve around my menses cycle

(dammit)

I get one really great week of low hunger, mindful eating, positive body image

a week of ovulation, a week of pms, and a week of flow ... yup

I'm 20 lbs heavier than I was last year at this time

and I really wanted to be 15 lbs lighter back then

So I really wanna lose 35 lbs

My epiphany this month?

I don't like my size

but I love my shape

that's been my mantra

it really is a TRUE statement

it's easier to focus on the truth

By a fluke gift from God, I get to fly to TX this week for work

so YAY I get to see my BFF

Good damn thing too...

coz I need a booster shot!

So...when I get back

The treadmill will be in it's new home on the porch (I love our porch so that's a good place for it).

I've downloaded a few podcast versions of "couch to 5k" that I'm gonna preview on the plane to and from TX.

And that will be my goal

I may even get brave and post pics on my blog.

Heck...it's not a "visited by millions" blog anyway so why not :)