my former selves take over and eat what they want
I've spent the past two days with a stomach bug of some sort
I didn't feel like getting up and juicing although juice probably would've been the BEST thing I could've done
By 10pm last night I was SO hungry I ate two (count em 2!) rice krispie treats and a little debbie brownie...things that I shouldn't eat (not because they're taboo but because the f-me up badly).
My former self said...well nothing is staying down or in anyway so why not go ahead and have the party in your mouth for a while
ugh
I've lost track of what day of the 30 we're on
but I do know that dirt under my finger nails from the garden and pulp from the juicing machine are two physical, tangible things that make me feel good about myself and when I feel good about myself I'm physically satisfied. And when I'm physically satisfied, my 37 year old self wins.
I'm a bit nervous about today
today I drive Bm to a weekend summer camp about 2 hrs from here
the same stretch of road where my last binge occurred
There was even a little voice reminding me that a milkshake, ooh and maybe some fries to go with it, would be a nice treat
Really? No
So I've juiced an amazing juice, carrots, arugula, celery, pear, apple and a lemon...which would probably be even more so amazing had I not brushed my teeth first. And Karen, I don't remember where I read it but there really IS something in raw fruits and veggies that tells the brain it is satisfied. I'm half way through my cup, and I'm full. My mouth is happy, my tummy is satisfied. I think my former me is pouting in the corner because she wanted a milkshake, but we'll have the 2 hr drive on the way back home to talk all of that out.
Something else I've learned
I love my shape
I've had the opportunity to see it often these past few days as I passed the mirror high tailing it to the bathroom. I like the area from my shoulders to my hip bones, quite alluring I think
That's a step in the right direction
Kinda like seeing the me that's under there...she's not under there, she's there
So I've learned to recognize her too...my former me and my future me.
If my scale doesn't move through this 30 days
I'll still be happy
:)
my pouting me won
ReplyDeleteBm and I both had a small shake and small fries
I had said I was just gonna get her a shake
then my credit card didn't work at the gas station 1 hr into the drive to south florida today and I got miffed at the person on the other end of the phone when she halfheartedly apologized for the mistake
I think I'm pms'ing too because i have that eat anything in sight but still not feel full (or hungry for that matter).
ughhh
in other news
I did 10 real-deal push ups today
I was up to about 30 knee-down type
I can drop down in chaturanga all day...it's the pushing back up part that sucks!
But I did juice
I did garden
I did enjoy my drive with my little one to take her to something she is whole-heartedly excited about doing
and that aint bad
ten? holy crap that's amazing....did you do them on fists or flat hands. i can't do them (ANY, actually) on flat hands...damn perils of being an interpreter. if you're doing them on flat hands, i am some impressed since you've been signing your whole life.
ReplyDeleteokay, you don't need to bring larabars to sedona for me, just your juicer. we'll throw in some scorpions for protein. ;)
i think you have fabulous shoulders, too.
now i have that kid's song in my head, "there's a party in my tummy"
I think it's pretty cool that even though you got the shake and fries, they were small, and that's all you got. It can be so hard when you break down and let yourself get something, to not go whole hog and get a LOT. But, maybe you're not like me in that regard.
ReplyDelete